It was already a while ago that Me was feeling well. I noticed a turmoil for months now in Me’s feelings, in such a way I was worried for the outcome. Me thought he found gold in certain environments he was attending for several years now and he seemed very happy with the consequences. Me was happy, Me was even more than happy, Me was excited with the path he took till now. Me tasted from success and his taste was plain simple: Me was only satisfied with the best. Me was very pleased with himself and his endeavors were proved by tokens of these small and big successes. The sometimes-unexpected prosperity did not happen by accident. Deliberate decisions, conscious efforts and a certain persistence, all based on previous accomplishments directed to Me’s specific goals. Me’s quality of life was in direct proportion of the commitment to excellence, no matter the chosen field of endeavor.

But there was a trouble, an agitation, a certain commotion and disturbance in Me’s mind. And OtherMe noticed this from early on.

OtherMe was in general overwhelmed with joy and happiness when observing Me. Me was enthusiast, ambitious and even compulsive in his thinking and handling and OtherMe, despite the direct connection with Me, seemed to enjoy the attitude of Me. I myself seem to savor the constant play between my two-inner persona, wandering around these mesmerizing connections between myself, sometimes even getting hopelessly lost in translation.

I noticed OtherMe is constantly observing Me, always, and in such a way he was way more alert than Me. Me’s connection with the real world was simple and straight forward, as expected and in a constant state of willing to grow.  OtherMe on the other hand embraced his ontology and seemed to study the very nature of his being. In a way, I felt more connected with the emotional OtherMe than the intellectual Me.

Every now and then I witnessed a very interesting, almost symbiotic momentum between myself. Every now and then Me got confused, something I could observe from an illeist distance, something OtherMe perceived as well, immediately. Me was feeling great, Me was happy in thoughts, in what he said and Me was living his live with a visible, unabashed enthusiasm. But at a certain point, OtherMe seems to get annoyed with so much eagerness and urge to simply achieve.

“Whazzup” said the OtherMe to Me, as OtherMe is very elaborate. “I noticed you seem very happy with yourself and it’s getting a bit ridiculous. I don’t like the way you’re acting; despite the fact you are me. But I’m also way ahead of you and you know that.”

Me was quite flabbergasted by the insolence of OtherMe and I noticed he became a bit uncomfortable. I knew OtherMe for ages and every now and the he could be a bit.. well… annoyed with Me.

“Stop lying to yourself” shouted OtherMe, “and rather take some risks. Stop making excuses to stay in your comfort zone“.

Me was getting cranky with such bold interference and I noticed he was getting mad at OtherMe. But OtherMe didn’t stop.

“Get rid of that idiotic grin on your face and have a look at where you are standing. Are you truly happy? Is this the end? Are these tokens not trivial? Where is your creativity? Where is … everything! Do you feel like you have seen Naples and should die peacefully now, as nothing else cannot match the satisfaction you feel today? Why are you only building on your previous development? Break out!”

Me mumbled some arguments which I could not make out from the roughness of his poor mouth. His anger seemed to make place for doubt as he started to realize OtherMe was touching something important here. But no, not without a good fight. I noticed Me was looking at his tokens of his success, thinking about the paths that lead to this momentum and he started to realize OtherMe was right. Again.

“But this is it, I am where I want to be” said Me to OtherMe.

“Bollocks” said OtherMe as he was very lettered. “This is not the first time we have this conversation! You can do better than that. You should do better than that. You should do the best you can until you know better. And then do better. Don’t stop.”

Me looked OtherMe straight in the eyes and bursted out “But I am successful, look at everything I accomplished!“.

“Bollocks!” said OtherMe again. “You act like Seven of Nine, a non-thinking assimilated victim, a participant that created a certain anxiety through your limited mindsets and worldview. No one wants to hear your story, you need to make your story, your narrative, by and for yourself. There is no happy ending here, there is no steppingstone to an undefined nirvana. You are so much more than your accomplishments. You are only fitting into your own peer group now. You seem to refuse to question your values and beliefs! You seem to drown into your own intellectual capacities. You, sir, are an idiot“.

I witnessed this conversation with mixed feelings. I realized this was an inner conversation between myself but at the same time I was able to assess the situation from a helicopter point of view. I didn’t want to interfere, but I noticed a certain predilection for OtherMe’s way of thinking.

Me, on the other hand, was confused. OtherMe’s rant towards his person felt like a stick through his heart. He felt embarrassed but he didn’t understand why. A small tingle in the back of his brain said OtherMe was right, but Me could not put a finger on it.

“But why?” shouted Me in despair. “You leave me with complete loss or absence of hope when you talk to me like this. What I accomplished seems meaningless the way you are handling it“.

“I said you are an idiot and your reactions are proving me right” fulminated OtherMe foul-mouthed. “Ok, let get straight here.” said OtherMe. “Take my sayings as a man and think! Why should this be the end? Why are you so happy with this, without seeing the opportunities that lay ahead of you? Why are you so reluctant to take a next or even a new step? Where is your drive?  These tokens of your success are meaningless and only fill the gap on the wall. Why playing this game unless you’re all in? You have no idea how limited your thinking is now“.

Me thought about what OtherMe told him and realized he was right. “I understand what you’re saying, OtherMe, but I’m so bound by the token of my success I don’t seem to see other circumstances that makes it possible to do something even better. I seem to stop moving!”

Me always found that OtherMe’s aim for the stars was quite annoying. OtherMe’s unlimited possibilities always were in stark contrast with his own ideas of how he should live his live. And every time Me thought he reached the farthest thing out there, OtherMe was there to think critically about it.

OtherMe said “You don’t always have to reach for the stars. Start with reaching deep into yourself.”

Me was irritated by OtherMe. OtherMe was stronger in every way, he realized. And he loved him by heart but every now and then they could fight like two weasels in a bag. And the most irritating thing: OtherMe was always right, even when he was wrong.

I noticed that Me realized that he had to follow the OtherMe’s lead to add tremendously wonderful new elements to his life.

“Good judgement” said Me finally, “I’m thankful for your criticism and I’m happy you are as straight forward. I’m not always aware of my limitation. Therefore, let me throw these meaningless, trivial tokens out of the window and continue towards a more individualized path. Let reboot our conversation.”

At that time, I got quite amused but also a bit worried. Me seemed convinced of OtherMe’s superior way of looking at things and I was not sure Me would be able to follow OtherMe in his attempt to create a mere life-altering crisis only to come out stronger the other side. Me but also, I was afraid of falling apart and ending in a struggle. Witnessing Me dissolving his token entirely, burning it to ashes and sweeping into nothing by a strong wind seemed very radical but at the same time quite refreshing.

Realizing that this action makes me reach to my greatest potentials for growth was an excellent catalyst for change and gave me the opportunity to set off a new journey into personal development. Me apparently had the same idea as I had and realized that if he wants to be what he is and what he want to be or how he want to act in order to be authentic he had to accept the tokens OtherMe was gifting him, no matter what they were or how they looked like.

The gift of imagination rather than the over-intellectualization encouraged Me to reassess his situation and at the end pushed us all to move further than ever before.